


Letters

by kisahawklin



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Dark, Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 20:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid writes a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is. I felt thoughtful this morning, after seeing 2.11 Sex, Birth, Death last night.

Reid writes a lot. He still writes his mother every day. He writes Nathan at least once a week. He sometimes writes long, soulful letters to Gideon, but those never get sent. Those aren't for the recipient, but for the writer.

The letters to his mother are handwritten, time taken to make the handwriting legible. He knows she appreciates it when he makes an effort.

The letters to Nathan are typed, but he always puts a handwritten note on the bottom. He has too much to say to write them longhand, but he wants Nathan to know he's still thinking of him, not just in abstract, but in the sad eyes of the picture he keeps with the letters, still and silent in their wooden box in the back of his closet.

The letters he writes to Gideon hurt the most, and he keeps some of them. He uses them as a collective memory, a diary of what worries him, what he most wants Gideon to be there to answer. He's never been one to journal, preferring to either share information or work through it in his mind instead of write it out. Putting things into words means they're something more than a wisp of an idea that he can push out of his mind and forget about, for a little while at least. Putting it on paper, even to someone who will never receive it, is tantamount to calling it real.

He wonders if they will find stacks of letters and poems and drawings, all half-finished and more than half-mad, like he did with his mother. He hopes not. He doesn't want to do that to the team. He hopes he will overcome his fear and not make them take him away after his mind is mostly gone, the only thing left for him pretend lectures and made up students.

He folds the letter and puts it with the others, not daring to read over it to see if he still sounds sane. He doesn't know if he could tell the difference anymore.


End file.
